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Check out Letterman's latest tangential political foray here, where satellite Hillary attempts to be funny and witty with her top ten list of why she loves America. You might chuckle. I didn't. But that just means, I have a more sophisticated sense of humor than most. Comon, Tivo, American bacon? This isn't Dane Cook suck hour. This is Letterman. WE expect better.

It should be pretty evident at this point that Mother Nature kinda hates us. Floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, Britney Spears STILL in the news every effin' day. Here's why. Check out this list of the worst gas guzzlers including the Jeep Grand Cherokee which gets 11 mpg city and 14 mpg highway, and the oh-so sexy Bugatti Veyron which musters up a measly 8 mpg city. Your yearly fuel bill will cost you upwards of $5,000, or one night with a really mediocre looking hooker, apparently. Damn this recession, everything is gettin' so expensive!

Political dilletantes, get ready for the ultimate makeover! Check out this great Pajamas Media article which reveals that Iran doesn't hate us as much as we thought! Well, the kids don't! This country, whose youthful population has a median age of 26, is changing it's attitude toward the "westoxication" movement spearheaded by Khomeini and the Supreme Cultural Revolution. The next generation actually wants to be friends with America, probably for a shot at love with Tila Tequila.

Both Americans and the Iranian government should fear the new and empowered youth. They have the power to influence diplomacy, trade, and war on an international scale. Perhaps, the best way to deal with acrid relations between the countries would be through the kids, just like divorced parents do.

Pissed off at how the state government is treating South Florida, residents of North Lauderdale City are pushing a resolution that would divide Florida into two separate states, north and south. Local leaders are complaining that the South contributes more in taxes than their getting back. Others are complaining that it's just plain stupid.

We're sure this will work out, successfully. It did in California, right?

Headbutt. Healthy tan. Microsoft Works. (hee!) Home school. A list of my favorite oxymorons. Okay, so home schooling, sounds like a cool idea in theory. There's no such thing as P.E., cafeteria food, or that horrible kid who called you "Jenny Craig" everyday for a year, just to piss you off. Plus, Abe Lincoln and Jen Love Hewitt are both famous home school alumnis.

Read this interesting piece which discusses the trends in modern home schooling, which is predominantly administered by mothers. The article explores how most progressive feminist mothers homeschool their kids because of their disappointment in school subjects, particularly the fact that many books don't discuss social issues that deal with women or racial consciousness. Ironically, these women also feel a little hypocritical, because-- as home schooling mothers--- they are dependent on their hubbies for money, regressing back to the fifties' homemaker a la June Cleaver.

Finally, a good idea put forth by a Presidential candidate. Watch this fascinating report which reveals McCain's latest plan to cut down on government spending. (The Secret Service is overrated anyway.)